I follow this page on Instagram called @Kasfacts and he’s always asking if single people can have relationship problems too lol and nine times out of ten the answer is YES.
I’ve been single for a hoooooooot minute now lol (well maybe not that hot but you know what I mean) and I’ve come to the conclusion that I simply suck at relationships! Or I’m crazy or I pick the wrong ones or I’m a fuck boy magnet or I got trust issues or they got trust issues or I like bad boys or niggas just be lyin’ etc. I mean the list goes on, but that’s neither here nor there — back to my advice.
I came across this article on www.theguardian.com under the relationship section where people write in to Mariella and ask her relationship advice and she gives them obvious answers like “Bitch please!” but in a nice way. And I thought to myself; I can do that shit! In this example, a woman wrote in anonymously stating “I’m in love with a man who won’t leave his long-term girlfriend.” I wasn’t too sure if she was looking for a response because bitchhhhhh you already know what you gotta do!
Now after reading her predicament and Mariella’s response I thought to myself that soooooo many women get caught up in these types of situations and end up believing the BS that men say! This nigga told her that he’s going through mental health issues and the situation is causing him stress and she actually feels bad for him! Good Lord! He even told her that they can’t see each other anymore because him and his girlfriend share a mortgage and a dog! Girl! You do realize that he chose the dog over you right?!
Self worth baby girl ! Now, let me tell you how hard it is at times to believe you’re worth anymore than what you’re given. Years ago I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship and no matter how many times my friends told me “girl you’re worth so much more than this” I just couldn’t see it. And of course you end up with the fuck boy who just preys on that weakness and takes advantage.
In that situation I would always say “Yes! I know but I just need to do this right now.” So I wouldn’t have to hear them tell me things I already knew. Looking back at it I realized how truly broken I was. What I realized is that I had to take responsibility for my part in allowing this person to treat me like bread back when I was and am the middle of the loaf. lol
That’s why I say at a certain point you have to take responsibility for your actions. You can blame him all you want for lying, leading you on etc and blah blah blah. But guess what you are responsible for you, your feelings and for being realistic with yourself.
If you willing entered into a situation knowing the full extent of a current relationship the man you’re dating then you have only yourself to blame for breaking your own heart. BUT if you end up in a situation because you were lied to and eventually learn the truth he is definitely to blame BUT at the same time YOU are responsible for your actions after you learn the truth.
If you’re living in the real world and are actively dating (especially living in Toronto *sideeye*) you have come across shit like this! Maybe not to the same extreme as the lady that wrote to Mariella but in one way or another. I have had phone calls, emails, text messages, DMs etc of females either looking for their man or asking me if I’m messing with their man or telling me to leave their man alone. And needless to say in every situation the shit was news to me lol.
Now I’m not saying I’ve been the most righteous in these situations (gotta call myself out lol) and left the people dem man alone right away but I definitely realized I picked up an ain’t shit nigga and I eventually came to my senses. You always have to ask yourself “If he does leave his girlfriend/wife do I want these problems? And guess what now your spot is vacant and will most likely be filled.
Any man who actually cares about you or even his partner wouldn’t put you in that position. That nigga is a selfish, self-centred fuck boy. And you don’t need that kind of energy in your life.
Know Your Worth Sis! And LOVE thyself!
— Ms. Mesha Gaye